Loop / Kara says:
There was a scotsman asleep in the kitchen.
I had to clamber over him to ascent the narrow stairs to reach the shitter.
MHG says:
righto
Loop / Kara says:
He meant to murder me, but alas he was shitting bricks when i was waving around a very sharp knife with gay abandon.
He's a chef you see. People seem to become overly cautious when they know what the thing you're flailing around can actually do to flesh and bone.
Luckily I remained ignorant and laughing until the knife was out of ym hands. Then my hand went into the wall.
Hours later admittedly but clearly I'm safer with a knife than without
MHG says:
parp
this is a great story
youshould blog about it
Loop / Kara says:
Sadly that was the end of it. The rest was about 40min of me going argh fucking hell my thumb hurts.
MHG says:
le sigh
Loop / Kara says:
but if you like I'll copypaste that specific part and just upload it as is.
MHG says:
yeah, go for it.
parp
26 January 2011
Down with the Sickness
Has it really been almost three weeks since I put anything up here? I'm shocked that anyone's stuck around this long!
Oh wait, the joke's on me; they haven't. In fact, I built it but they never came. Chalk up another lie the media has fed me, along with those grand turds of deceit afloat in the great salty brine of life that tell us that we'll all grow up to be rich and famous and ultimately happy... not that I want to bring a downer on you. No.
Mayhaps I could explain what I've been doing with my verdant and unblemished time spent not uploading streams of conscious into the aether of unread prose that is the web. Sadly, the answer is not a great deal. When last we parted, you and I, I'd been... what was- ah yes, flailing at my computer's innards like a wet noodle slapping limply at a fly, decrying the foul machinations of whoever designed this cramped ATX form factor.
Luckily I never mentioned the best part of that whole endeavour, and when I say best I mean worst, 'cos that's how I roll.
As I nipped down the stairs in what would become a vain attempt at cannibalising my old model machine, deciding not to turn on the hall light at an ungodly hour, I noticed through the glass in the front door that the streetlights had gone off. So there I am pawing my way through the darkness into the front room where the light would go unnoticed, and my fruitless search for components would begin. Anyway, longwinded and tedious story cut gleefully short, on the way back through the opressive and cloying darkness, I managed to knock over my dog's water bowl.
Frantic gathering and applying of absorbancies later, I creep back upstairs and, damn, the streetlights are back on. Fate, she toys with me as a dog does a bone or rubber replacement.
Of course I would've reported back to you, oh omniscient peruser, but I caught a bit of a nasty cough and frankly could NOT be arsed.
Hell, I'm only doing this out of sheer lack of options and it's not gone at all the way I thought it would. Seems that as soon as I sit down, everything I wanted to type about flies out of my head like a fainting goat, shot out of a cannon.
No, I don't know why the type of goat matters either, but one of those little buggers with the four horns would be utterly terrifying propelled through somebody's front window at ballistic speeds...
Oh wait, the joke's on me; they haven't. In fact, I built it but they never came. Chalk up another lie the media has fed me, along with those grand turds of deceit afloat in the great salty brine of life that tell us that we'll all grow up to be rich and famous and ultimately happy... not that I want to bring a downer on you. No.
Mayhaps I could explain what I've been doing with my verdant and unblemished time spent not uploading streams of conscious into the aether of unread prose that is the web. Sadly, the answer is not a great deal. When last we parted, you and I, I'd been... what was- ah yes, flailing at my computer's innards like a wet noodle slapping limply at a fly, decrying the foul machinations of whoever designed this cramped ATX form factor.
Luckily I never mentioned the best part of that whole endeavour, and when I say best I mean worst, 'cos that's how I roll.
As I nipped down the stairs in what would become a vain attempt at cannibalising my old model machine, deciding not to turn on the hall light at an ungodly hour, I noticed through the glass in the front door that the streetlights had gone off. So there I am pawing my way through the darkness into the front room where the light would go unnoticed, and my fruitless search for components would begin. Anyway, longwinded and tedious story cut gleefully short, on the way back through the opressive and cloying darkness, I managed to knock over my dog's water bowl.
Frantic gathering and applying of absorbancies later, I creep back upstairs and, damn, the streetlights are back on. Fate, she toys with me as a dog does a bone or rubber replacement.
Of course I would've reported back to you, oh omniscient peruser, but I caught a bit of a nasty cough and frankly could NOT be arsed.
Hell, I'm only doing this out of sheer lack of options and it's not gone at all the way I thought it would. Seems that as soon as I sit down, everything I wanted to type about flies out of my head like a fainting goat, shot out of a cannon.
No, I don't know why the type of goat matters either, but one of those little buggers with the four horns would be utterly terrifying propelled through somebody's front window at ballistic speeds...
06 January 2011
The Broken
I'm cursed, I tell you.
Electronics, at once the most fun I have with my clothes on and the bane of my tepid existence. So rife with possibilities in all their myriad forms and yet so damning with their ruinous disregard for my desires and well-being.
Eeeeeverything seems to malfunction around me, which is somewhat aggravating when it seems like 90% of my life is lived on the net. Maybe that's just a failing of my priorities. Anyway.
The system downstairs, an ageing and dust-clogged relic, has begun in recent days to sound less like a smooth wireless-serving platform and more like a tractor rending the slow country by-lanes into so much rubble and dust, acrid in the lungs and cloying in the throat. It's not a pretty sound.
Deciding that it's likely a problem with the power supply, I order a new one and a pair of new hard drives for my own little terminal, generous as I am. After installing the new PSU however... yeah, that's not the problem. Bugger.
Ah well, I'll cheer myself up installing these new spacious magnetic discs! Now, SATA ports... yeah, there they are. Now where's my cables...
... cables...
Cables? Hello, SATA cables?
Bugger.
Right, let's hunt through the big box of PC spares and scraps for those spare SATA cables I'm sure I possess... but oh, what's this?
... it's an as-new power supply.
...
Electronics, at once the most fun I have with my clothes on and the bane of my tepid existence. So rife with possibilities in all their myriad forms and yet so damning with their ruinous disregard for my desires and well-being.
Eeeeeverything seems to malfunction around me, which is somewhat aggravating when it seems like 90% of my life is lived on the net. Maybe that's just a failing of my priorities. Anyway.
The system downstairs, an ageing and dust-clogged relic, has begun in recent days to sound less like a smooth wireless-serving platform and more like a tractor rending the slow country by-lanes into so much rubble and dust, acrid in the lungs and cloying in the throat. It's not a pretty sound.
Deciding that it's likely a problem with the power supply, I order a new one and a pair of new hard drives for my own little terminal, generous as I am. After installing the new PSU however... yeah, that's not the problem. Bugger.
Ah well, I'll cheer myself up installing these new spacious magnetic discs! Now, SATA ports... yeah, there they are. Now where's my cables...
... cables...
Cables? Hello, SATA cables?
Bugger.
Right, let's hunt through the big box of PC spares and scraps for those spare SATA cables I'm sure I possess... but oh, what's this?
... it's an as-new power supply.
...
02 December 2010
Before I Forget
What a night.
Work wasn't too bad, though as it's the Christmas season the new stuff isn't coming in all that quickly, so there's a lot of downtime. Booked some time off, gotta use it before the end of the year.
Cold! But no ice on the car so I'm out of the parking lot like a speedy greased thing on fire.
I did almost crash, though - Coming down this poorly-lit street about two turns away from my own road, I find myself staring at a spot on the pavement. Nothing there but I can't help staring, but manage to break the lure of the void when my tyres scrape alongside the kerb. Fun times!
That said it has made me think of something I could put up here, but I'm not too sure about how to approach it. Basically, every so often I'm driving around, or even sometimes just walking, and I'll get this feeling... not so much deja vu, more like remembering something that never happened, as odd as it sounds.
It's mostly the same; me travelling somewhere on foot or in the car, the streets are dark, the setting is an ambiguous cityscape, the worrisome night-time is at once oppressive and welcoming as if I've known these streets all my life. It's a relaxing segue from whatever journey I'm making my way though in the real world at the time, and given how boring my local area is now that I've been everywhere, it's a place I'd like to see more of.
Just a shame I can't turn it on and off like a lightswitch, might relieve some of this boredom, this ennui. But then, anything new would, eh.
Work wasn't too bad, though as it's the Christmas season the new stuff isn't coming in all that quickly, so there's a lot of downtime. Booked some time off, gotta use it before the end of the year.
Cold! But no ice on the car so I'm out of the parking lot like a speedy greased thing on fire.
I did almost crash, though - Coming down this poorly-lit street about two turns away from my own road, I find myself staring at a spot on the pavement. Nothing there but I can't help staring, but manage to break the lure of the void when my tyres scrape alongside the kerb. Fun times!
That said it has made me think of something I could put up here, but I'm not too sure about how to approach it. Basically, every so often I'm driving around, or even sometimes just walking, and I'll get this feeling... not so much deja vu, more like remembering something that never happened, as odd as it sounds.
It's mostly the same; me travelling somewhere on foot or in the car, the streets are dark, the setting is an ambiguous cityscape, the worrisome night-time is at once oppressive and welcoming as if I've known these streets all my life. It's a relaxing segue from whatever journey I'm making my way though in the real world at the time, and given how boring my local area is now that I've been everywhere, it's a place I'd like to see more of.
Just a shame I can't turn it on and off like a lightswitch, might relieve some of this boredom, this ennui. But then, anything new would, eh.
24 November 2010
AAAAAAAARGH!!!!
OhmyGodsohmyGodsohmyGods I spent all my money and I am now poorer than the dirt underneath the foundations! I'm fiscally insolvent! I am other words that describe being unable to feed myself! What? No, not like that. I mean... oh never mind.
Suffice it to say the penny has dropped on just how much I shelled out on miscellany in about two hours OH DID YOU SEE THAT HILARIOUS MONETARY PUN I MADE IT WAS GREAT YEAH.
I'm going to regret this post, I just know it; the contempt the internet has for me just seethes over my wireless connection. But right now I don't care! My head is a vacuous wasteland bereft of imagination this night so I can but spout some mindless rot to shave some precious minutes from my pointless life to harry on the new day where still nothing will happen!
Why do I live like this? When will my time come?! Oh Fate you feckless charlatan, when will you yield, relent and raise thine spikéd boot from my face and let me prosper, frolic with the wee faerie folk and whatnot.
On an unrelated note my trigger finger feels particularly weak tonight, no idea why.
Also hello. If you're readin' this, whilst lovely, you've probably gotten lost. So terribly terribly lost. But then, it has been quite foggy out as of late so I can forgive you.
Check spelling. Internet is not a word. Disregard spell check.
Suffice it to say the penny has dropped on just how much I shelled out on miscellany in about two hours OH DID YOU SEE THAT HILARIOUS MONETARY PUN I MADE IT WAS GREAT YEAH.
I'm going to regret this post, I just know it; the contempt the internet has for me just seethes over my wireless connection. But right now I don't care! My head is a vacuous wasteland bereft of imagination this night so I can but spout some mindless rot to shave some precious minutes from my pointless life to harry on the new day where still nothing will happen!
Why do I live like this? When will my time come?! Oh Fate you feckless charlatan, when will you yield, relent and raise thine spikéd boot from my face and let me prosper, frolic with the wee faerie folk and whatnot.
On an unrelated note my trigger finger feels particularly weak tonight, no idea why.
Also hello. If you're readin' this, whilst lovely, you've probably gotten lost. So terribly terribly lost. But then, it has been quite foggy out as of late so I can forgive you.
Check spelling. Internet is not a word. Disregard spell check.
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